| Stuart Wall|
|Also known as:||Fats|
|Friends/Family:|| Father: Colin|
Friends: Andrew Price, Krystal Weedon
Stuart Wall was the adopted son of Colin and Tessa Wall, making him the son of Winterdown's deputy headmaster and of its guidance counselor. In appearance he was tall and slender (his nickname of "Fats" was deliberately ironic). He was best friends with Andrew Price and bullied Sukhvinder Jawanda by commenting on her appearance in class and posting links about hirsutism and lesbianism to her Facebook page. He had a sexual relationship with Krystal Weedon, who later in the book hoped to become pregnant with his child so that she and Robbie could have their own house away from her mother and Obbo. At Howard Mollison's party, he kissed Gaia Bawden while she was drunk, to Andrew's disappointment.
He was having sex with Krystal when Robbie Weedon wandered off, and he did not attempt to help save Robbie when he fell in the river.
He was very concerned with the idea of "authenticity," which, to him, meant being honest, true to one's own nature and never hiding or faking anything to seem nicer than you are (but not pretending to be worse, either). Ironically, his "authenticity" was mostly an image he had of how he wanted to be. He held his parents in contempt for not being authentic, and even thought that he might prefer Simon Price as a father, because he was an authentic person in Fats' view, and would have been a worthier enemy than Colin.
"Stuart", as a male name or surname, is a variant spelling of "steward" meaning "house-guardian".